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Edwin Drood's Column |
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Edwin Drood's Column is a blog by The Mysterious Edwin Drood.
Occasionally, when the Drood is absent, his place is filled by the series
"While the Drood's away..." which currently features poetry by Hugh Featherstone. |
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Index of previous blogs - 2010 |
37 posts |
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| Edwin Drood's Column |
June 2010 |
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| 1 June |
Water apparently thicker than oil
In which Edwin, while lighting a torch for the defence of Malia Obama, singes some white-robed hold-outs and also sheds a little light on BP, Exxon, the Tea Party and the demise of the great heart of oak. |
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| 3 June |
Dry bones
In which Drood passeth through the valley and neither drinketh he from the well nor doth he sojourn there long for fear of the unquiet dead. |
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| 8 June |
I’m late, I’m late
In which Drood continues through the valley, rather behind schedule, encountering, among other things, a bottle of Trappist beer, a time paradox and a priest with a punctuation problem. |
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| 11 June |
Ginger, get the popcorn!
In which Drood questions the evolutionary value of embarrassment and the relationship of train wrecks to custard pies. |
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| 15 June |
Smelling Ararat
The Deluge: "A punishment inflicted on the human race by an all-knowing God, who, through not having foreseen the wickedness of men, repented of having made them, and drowned them once for all to make them better - an act which, as we all know, was accompanied by the greatest success." Voltaire, Dictionary of Theology |
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| 18 June |
Schengen in the rain
In which Edwin, diving from the deck of the Marie Astrid in Schengen harbour, and striking out manfully for the isles of "Scintillating Wit" and "Erudition", suffers a bad case of quill-burn-flipper-crash, thus failing miserably to attain the shining sands of either illustrious shore. |
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| 22 June |
Sic semper tyrannis
In which Drood admits to sports fatigue, despite not having hit, kicked, caught, punted, cued, bowled, rolled or otherwise engaged in any seriousness with a ball since the summer of 1968. |
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| 25 June |
Short guide to small planet for smallest person
In which the Drood waxeth broody over his much-adored great-niece and launches for her tiny sake into a song of somewhat differentiated praise for the planet which is our uncommonly common home. |
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| 29 June |
Apologies, but Edwin is on holiday
In which the Drood bids his readership adieu for the month of July, but promises to return soon, invigorated and with some cheery snapshots of windmills worth jousting. |
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| Edwin Drood's Column |
July 2010 |
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| During July Edwin will be on holiday. |
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| Edwin Drood's Column |
August 2010 |
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| 3 August |
Ants around my ankles
In which Drood tries alpinism in a mild way and, finding it exhausting, strikes up a conversation with his diffident Anglican God. |
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| 6 August |
A bird in the hand ...
In which Drood ponders the seasonal transhumance of the French to greener pastures, the generosity of the poor, the relative miserliness of the wealthy and the errant flight of small volatiles. |
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| 10 August |
Obama girls rule!
In which Drood reflects on the sagacity of Benjamin Disraeli, the misfortune of those who live their lives in a barometer of public opinion and considers Malaga to be less than top notch, which leads him to wonder what all the fuss is about. |
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| 13 August |
On this day, the dreaded Friday the 13th, Edwin was plagued by toothache, an indisposition rendering him unable to summon the muse. |
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| 17 August |
Of sneezing uncles and apoplectic aunts
In which Edwin muses on the nature of remorse and whether one can ever do enough to right an injustice, or whether all that which one does, however much, can ever be considered appropriate expiation by anyone other than the victims themselves. |
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| 20 August |
Gravity's other rainbow
In which Edwin considers the number of angels one might settle on a pin, justice in a rogue state and where we all fit in the bigger picture. |
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| 24 August |
Of mall-dwellers, mall-rats and yo-yo shoppers
In which Edwin leaves Main Street for a trip to the local super, then drives way out to a far hypermarket, only to find his suburban neighbourhood has got there before him. |
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| 27 August |
Caution, tunnel at end of tunnel
In which Edwin searches for the universal reset button and truth in an inside-out world. |
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| 31 August |
Presenting marine mammals: the day job
In which Edwin, having survived the great creationist flood and the BP platform disaster, and encouraged in this direction by possibly the wettest August on record, goes in search of our cetacean cousins and questions whether they might not also be better off on land. |
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| Edwin Drood's Column |
September 2010 |
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| 7 September |
The best years of our lives
In which Edwin asks whether adolescence may not be overrated to the point that for many young people this rather underwhelming experience has reduced them to a state of fatalistic apathy beyond even that common to their age-group. |
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| 14 September |
Burning man
In which Edwin considers some of the unlooked-for results of book burning while also exploring ecological alternatives to same. |
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| 21 September |
In frigo veritas
In which Drood gets into difficulties negotiating a tricky junction and ends up in a refrigerator with Sarkozy, Berlusconi, Ahmadinejad, the non-existent Prime Minister of Belgium, a highly intelligent yoghurt and a six week old slice of cheesecake that is demanding the vote and full civil rights for invertebrate pastries. |
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| 28 September |
Hang onto your Rembrandts
The Drood decides not to take on the Iranian pocket dictator this week, but rather to turn his mind to higher things: the calorific value of the arts and the question of whether "noblesse" obliges one to put up with draughty accommodation and a yapping press. |
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| Edwin Drood's Column |
October 2010 |
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| 5 October |
In extremis Deo
In which Edwin looks at extreme behaviour (this is part one, part two will go more into the psychology and anthropology of this) and draws conclusions with regard to his dear cousin. |
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| 12 October |
Betting the farm to win a chicken
In which the Drood looks at the evolutionary value of the risk gene to see if there is any correlation between the behaviour of animals and the reprehensible utterances of the new mendocrats. |
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| 19 October |
Once bitten, twice shy ... or not
In which the Drood takes a deadpan look at the un-dead and wonders why they’ve seldom been as popular as they are today. |
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| 26 October |
A finger in the dyke will no longer do
In which the Drood would like to boycott the club that will not have him as a member and yet, like Groucho, is loath to join the one that will. |
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| Edwin Drood's Column |
November 2010 |
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| 2 November |
The wood for the trees
In which a tool-wielding Drood weeds his garden and encounters many young trees, a herd of cows and the German Foreign Service on a dubious mission of denial and/or discovery. |
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| 9 November |
Apologies, but Edwin is on holiday (again)
For the next two weeks Edwin will be away in the Caribbean chasing the ghosts of pirates and privateers. Look for him upon his return, a tanned and leathery Drood, ready to break the ice on the surface of the ink well and take up my trusty quill again. |
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| 23 November |
Raising Cane
In which the Drood takes a stroll downtown to enjoy the music and gets a lesson in symbiosis, a hunk of cane and a slice of life. |
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| 30 November |
Never the Twain shall meet
In which Edwin survives the battle of Waterloo, a wade through the sewers and some of the dullest “speechifying” this side of the Iliad and still has a fantastic read. |
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| Edwin Drood's Column |
December 2010 |
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| 7 December |
Leak Soup
In which Edwin bewails the bleak and featureless wasteland of “safety first” that now yawns where once tact, discretion and negotiating skill were demanded, as the new transparency steamrollers the political agenda of an entire decade past and the one to come. |
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| 14 December |
A cold front
In which Edwin rambles through an episode of seasonal marginalia in order to not have to address any of the “real” issues this week, and feels a whole lot better as a result. |
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| 21 December |
And a cold back, too
In which Edwin reminisces on the joys of illicit tobacco, secret dealings in Norway, the post-war Ministry of Defence and its most illustrious incumbent and the necessity of always keeping a little something in reserve. |
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